As July 4th draws nearer, I miss home more. The fireworks, grilling out, hanging out with friends and family, and remembering why the good ‘ol USA is still the best country on the planet.
Seeing as I am in Vancouver, Canada Day is all the rage here (sorta). I find it rather suspicious that “Canada Day” (their independence day, even though they didn’t have the balls to fight for it) falls so close to a real holiday, July 4th. April and I decided we still would like to see some fireworks… but there were none to be found. You heard me, there were no fireworks on July 1st in Vancouver. I’ve since read that Vancouver has had fireworks in the past but did not this year for whatever reason. This is serious weak sauce.
About the only other thing patriotic I saw (other than sales at various stores) was a list of 139 reasons to love Canada in the Vancouver Sun (the fish wrap in these parts). Why 139? Canada is apparently 139 years old now.
http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/westcoastnews/story.html?id=3698f108-5803-4735-9abc-68398f1f90f6&p=1
That’s the list. I’ll just highlight a few (note, in typical canadian fashion, the list is in no particular order, why the hell did they bother numbering it).
1. The Toque – a canadian humor site that is really nothing more than a The Onion rip off. Weak
47. Celine Dion – any list that includes her as a positive is automatically stupid
14. Perogies – last time I checked perogies did not come from Canada
34. Beer – “just some things we do better” Now while I’ll admit that mainstream Canadian beer is generally more flavorful, but more flavor is not always a good thing when the flavor sucks. Don’t believe me? Take a swig of Kokanee and try to tell me its better than beast or natty in the realm of cheap beer. When the flavor is bad, less flavor is a good thing. Furthermore, I’ll put American microbrewers against the best Canadian microbrewers.
116. Beaver – “Because, as a national symbol, the eagle is just so obvious”. Perhaps the eagle is obvious because you wished you had thought of first rather then a beaver (thus making yourselfs the butt of various sexual jokes). Eagles kick ass and take names, beavers build little dams and look cute… I’m going with the eagle.
The rest of the paper was filled with reports of how the rest of world looks at Canada as a good place, how their independence was peaceful, and various other meaningless things. In the end, Canada Day seems like less of a celebration of independence and more of an attempt to boost the nation’s self esteem when compared with the USA.
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I want a pet eagle. Yeah someone may have a guard dog that can bark and look mean but I will train my eagle will peck an intruders eyes out. Speaking of beer and grilling, thats exactly what Im about to do.